Fuckity Fucking Fuck

The buzz of the intercom wakes him. Leon looks blearily at his bedside clock: 9 am. Who the fuck would be ringing the bell at this hour?

“Wait here.” He kisses Chain softly on the back of the neck.

Wrapping himself in a velour robe, he moves to the hall outside the bedroom and thumbs the button on the speaker. “Who the fuck is this?”

There’s a long pause, then: “It’s Rain.”

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity fucking fuck.

He pokes his head back into the bedroom. “Stay here,” he says, a little more firmly this time. Chain waves a sleepy hand and pulls the covers up over his head. Leon closes the door behind him, and presses the button that will allow Rain into his elevator.

Discarded clothing is strewn around the conversation pit; he gathers it up as fast as possible and tosses it into the nearest bathroom. He’s closing the door just as the elevator dings, and seconds later Rain rounds the corner.

Out of costume he’s less exotic, but the sight of him still makes Leon’s heart skip a beat. Without a wig his hair is the same golden-brown as his brother’s, short and rumpled with natural curls. He stops just inside the room and looks uncertainly at Leon. “You disappeared last night.”

“I didn’t think you were still there.”

“Of course I was.” He takes a tentative step toward Leon, his eyes confused. “I wouldn’t leave you.”

Leon matches Rain’s step, adds a second of his own. “I looked for you on the dance floor.”

“I was up on a balcony. Dancing,” he adds quickly. “I wasn’t sure you’d… you’d want to see me during the show.” Another step.

“I wanted to. I was singing ‘I Was Made for Dancin” to you.”

One more step. “I hoped you were.”

Leon closes the distance in three strides and takes Rain’s face in his hands, Rain’s own hands going to his chest. Their kiss is full of question and answer, apology and acceptance, and Rain melts into him.

“I’m sorry for what I said last night,” Leon says when it ends.

“I get it. You were angry. Probably right to be.”

“We’re going to have to talk about this.”

“Then let’s start now.” Rain begins moving toward the conversation pit.

Guilt flushes through Leon. He can’t stand the thought of lying to the boy he loves. But this isn’t how he pictured this conversation taking place. “I… I have to tell you something.”

Rain pauses halfway down the steps. “What is it?”

Leon opens his mouth, and at that moment hears the bedroom door. “Oh, hell,” he has time to say, and then Chain walks into the room. Stark naked. He doesn’t even pause as he heads toward the kitchen. “Hey Rain.”

Rain sits down on the sofa. “Hi Chain.” He looks over at Leon and pats the cushion next to him.

Okay. What the hell is happening right now?

“Do you have any milk?” This from Chain, who is now peering into the refrigerator.

“It’s in the door if I do.”

“Oh, hey.” Chain walks into the living room holding the carton and takes a long swallow. “So, where are my pants?”

“Powder room,” Leon says faintly, indicating it with a nod.

“Cool.” He disappears back to the bedroom with them tossed over one shoulder, still holding the carton of milk.

“I’m going to assume,” Rain says after a pause, “that that was what you had to tell me.”

Leon can’t find his voice. He nods miserably.

Rain tilts his head. “I’m not sure why though.”

“Um…” He blinks several times at Rain. “What?”

“Why would you have to tell me you had someone over?”

“Because… I… we…” Words are impossible; everything about this situation is beyond him right now. “We never… talked about it.”

Rain’s expression is one of genuine puzzlement. “Yes we did.”

“What? When?”

“At the very beginning. I told you we weren’t in a relationship.”

The words come back to Leon. At the time he’d thought they simply meant that Rain wasn’t interested in labels. “We… but… I thought…” He walks down into the conversation pit and gingerly takes the seat next to Rain.

“Wait. Have you not been with anyone else since then?”

“No!”

An amused smile spreads slowly over Rain’s face. “Leon, I just assumed. I’m with you, but I don’t want to tie you down.” He raises one eyebrow. “Though now I’m, I’m – I’m a little curious why you brought someone else home if, if – if you thought we, we hadn’t discussed it.”

Leon drops his head into his hands, elbows on his knees. “I was drunk. Angry. High on adrenaline. I thought you had left.” A beat. “I’m sorry.”

For a while Rain doesn’t say anything, and Leon doesn’t look at him. He’s fucked this up, like he fucks everything up. It was just a matter of time.

Hands take his and gently pull them from his face. “There’s nothing to apologize for. We’re together. That’s, that’s – that’s what I care about.” Blue eyes look into green.

Leon rises abruptly to his knees, right there on the sofa. His arms go around Rain, and he pulls him tight to his chest. Rain’s own arms are crushed between them, but he doesn’t protest. Leon slides a hand up to cup the back of his lover’s neck and lowers his cheek to Rain’s head. “I love you.”

“And I you.” He pulls his head away and tilts it up to Leon. “We still have to talk about… about the other thing.”

“I know.” Leon kisses his forehead. “I’m still not exactly happy about it. But the idea of leaving you is worse.”

“Then we’ll figure it out.”

Leon settles into the sofa and pulls Rain to him again. They hold each other, not even looking up as Chain slips quietly away.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s